Writing through pain
One thing I’ve had to contend with over the years has been pain from the wreckage of my first marriage. I have integrated elements of my experience into my work for over thirty years because that pain, like everything else I’ve lived, is a part of me.
In a sense, I’m lucky. Many people face difficult things in their lives, but lack an outlet. There’s therapy and family and friends, but when you get right down to it, they are alone with their pain. I have the advantage of being able to share it with everyone, to examine it from all angles through the lens of my characters, and that’s made all the difference.
Recently, I even broke my radio silence with strangers on a forum for infidelity survivors because I’d finally reached a point where I was able to touch that pain without hurting myself all over again. That’s due to the workings of time, of course, and the love of a good woman, but my work has always been a factor there.
It’s not easy to be a pro writer. It has never been, and it’s even harder now. Even if you don’t make it to the bestseller list of The New York Times, though, you can still benefit from the process. Write, explore, learn, and find your peace through the act of creation. It may not eliminate all your pain, but it will improve things. I promise.